There will never be another Mel Brooks Movie because you don’t know satire asshole.

Satire: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

That’s directly from the Directory, read it many times before you continue.

Writing Satire is easy, writing good satire is hard.

Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is satire to show that our hero Huck was not lead away to help a runaway slave by evil temptations, that he is ashamed of. Another is Catch 22 joking of military men and all that goes in it, and its hilarious without too much afford.

Dr. Strange love, or How I learned how to stop worrying and love the bomb, directed by the ever brilliant Stanley Kubrick, is a fantastic satire to take inspiration from. I’ve seen it myself, and absolutely love and recommend it to everyone. Like Catch 22, it is based in the military, but we have a more bureaucratic side of things, during the Cold War. Through most of it, we are in a board room that the League of Doom would call “much” with military officers all in the same room. It was based off the Cold War, and its very cynical but it worked.

They did everything right with it, and made it brilliant.

The ex-Nazi Dr. Strange love, was obviously a Nazi, considering his goofy German accent, and he addresses the President of the United States as Mein Führer. He does the Nazi salute because he has “Alien hand syndrome” and he slaps his hand not to do so.

The ending made it perfect, especially as Dr. Strange (Peter Sellers) is completely improvising his final speech. Ending with the vocals of Vera Lynn crooning over stock footage of bombs exploding.

As much as I could go on, and I have, I want to move on to some deeper territory.

(Real Quick: One of the best lines was an exchange during a scuffle between two of the officers. They began a small fight and another very boldly declares: “Gentlemen! You can’t fight in here, this is the War room!” Which is one of the more well known, and insanely funny regardless of who says it.)

Now, on to the deeper stuff: Charlie Chaplin and The Great Dictator. This was a Holocaust film, and Charlie is playing a carbon copy of Hitler as a man named,  Adenoid Hynkel. It could have been bad, I mean it really could have. Chaplin did his homework and made sure he did the best he could have done for the role. The beginning we have him performing a speech similar to Hitler’s, where Chaplin is basically speaking gibberish, and its really funny.

In Chaplin’s defense, he himself said he would not have done it if he knew the true brutality of the Nazis. Because the movie had begun filming in 1939 and they finished six months later. Germany invaded Poland during that time.

Yeah.

But in a small twist of irony, when he went to Berlin, the citizens showered him and loved him, while the Nazis hated him. But the intentions behind it was not to mock Jewish people and their plight. What was happening was mocking Hitler, and the Jewish people were not dressed like stereotypes.

Speaking of Jewish people, Mel Brooks! An absolute talented member of Hollywood who wrote and starred in some hilarious shit. The Producers was one of the more amazing movies, and a Broadway show I’m not kidding, that Mel Brooks wrote and directed.

It starred Zero Mostel and the late Gene Wilder who played two men who wanted to commit fraud, by writing a flop of a play and sell shares of production. They write a play so awful they know it flop, “Springtime for Hitler: A Gay Romp with Adolf and Eva at Berchtesgaden.”  And it is just as insane as you’re mind is letting it go. They think they got away with their scheme until intermission comes and they find out, the audience loves it. Their scheme has gone awry, and the end is so damn funny I won’t tell you. But the point was everything that happened in it, was humor.

Mel Brooks wanted to demean Hitler with a fantastic way, with humor. Though mixed in the bag of critics, many people did love it, it was given 91 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and the second high rated comedy after the Wizard of Oz.

Some people don’t think you can write a Mel Brooks movie today. My point I’m trying to say is: Yes, you can. But how you do it, and what you talk about is important.

Mel Brooks made Blazing Saddles and was aware of everything he did in it. It was a parody of Westerns, had the N word very often in it, and was offensive with every scene.

Mel Brooks didn’t have his black character lynched on screen, and had him outwit the Lyncher and got away. Brooks himself knew what you could not do, saying the N word was warranted in the context of the movie, being lynched was not appropriate even in the context.

That’s important. That’s very important. Maybe a white guy who wrote a movie about a Western with a black dude.

You have to be self aware of what you do, especially in comedy, especially in Satire. Mel Brooks wrote a Nazi Satire as a Jewish man who fought in World War 2 against Germany.  You know what he didn’t do for comedy: lynch a dude in a Western.

Shocking jokes in comedy are different from shocking someone because you want too or for the sake of it. A shocking joke has to be either shocking, or not at all shocking and that’s the irony.

If you want to shock just because you can, and with no real humor, its not satire. Satire does not have to be real, shocking, or subtle, that is the point. But don’t let anyone call Satire for bad writing.

Love, the Not Social Kid.

In the defense of critical thinking

Individually, humans have thoughts we do not speak of, or would only speak of to someone very private. Critical thinking is something people do not often understand, or do….which is sometimes not good.

Humans have intrusive thoughts, thoughts that you do not really mean. Like pushing someone out of the window, or hitting another car in traffic, or you wanting to harm someone else, but of course you don’t because you are a good person.

Humans have good thoughts. About good things like dogs, how pretty their partners is, their hope of the future, children, good television shows, kittens, good news you received, etc.

Humans have bad thoughts. About the world, the bad things they did, wanting to die, regretting choices, thinking themselves ugly, thinking others ugly, hating people for their skin, gender, or opinion, etc.

But there is something that sorta of, in my own opinion, combines all three: critical thinking. When we say critical thinking, everyone has something different in their minds. Some think it’s making a big choice, some think doing math, and some think its those thoughts.

The thoughts when you’re awake in the middle of the night, looking at the ceiling, or at the person beside you, or at the wall. The thoughts you have while on a long drive, and no one to talk too. The thoughts you have in the bath, while your eyes are closed. The thoughts you have at your desk, or your work place and its a quiet moment. The thought you had after a terrible fight with a loved one. The thoughts you’ve had every so often, especially when you have so much on your plate.

Those thoughts about your future, the thoughts of what you are, who you are, why you are alive, and why should you be alive. Those thoughts.

They can belong to anyone, and everyone. They do belong to anyone and everyone. It is not uncommon, and you are normal with those thoughts.

I think there is something to be said of those thoughts, and despite it, they can be good. They are good. They hold weight, more so to those with mental illnesses.

Mental illness does not inhibit any critical thought, I personally think it increases it. Do you know someone with a mental illness? Have you ever heard their thoughts? Their true thoughts?

If you had not, do it soon. Ask them some vague questions about things any topic, and listen. You’ll hear new perspectives, you’ll hear things you never once thought before. Maybe it will make you look at the ceiling, and have those thoughts.

It is not to say someone without a mental illness can not think analytically, like I said, this is something everyone knows. The power of a thought is universal.

I want to believe all people know how to think, and think about things beside their daily tasks. Those thoughts rest in someone’s head, behind their eyes and smiles when you’re talking to them. As they stand there at a counter, sitting at a table, in bed, looking at their computer screen. I, on occasion, look at a stranger behind the cashier counter and watch them. Wondering what they think, what their life is, what they’re going through in their lives. I hope everyone else does this on occasion too.

Love, the Not Social Kid.

Why don’t we question Men more?

Wait:

Before your assumptions flood in, take a deep breath. Remember we gain nothing from assuming.  Remember we are adults able to listen, and that some discussions will make you uncomfortable. But, being uncomfortable, unlearning everything you’ve known, and questioning what you’ve been taught is the topic here.

Alright? Okay. Moving on….

So, firstly, What the Fuck is going on?

Seriously? What the literal shit?

Okay, let me explain: More in the news we are seeing women come forward and tell their stories of men who have done monstrous criminal harm to them. Of course, I’m thrilled to see more women coming forward and exposing their rapists, their sexual predators, their stalkers and we’re seeing men get in trouble. Maybe not in the way we want, but it’s a start and I pray we’ll see it continue.

(It’s almost as though seeing a bushy haired, bigoted, buffoon in the White House made women brave. After a powerful woman lost her desk, women decided she was going to fuck up the life of the flaming dillhole who thought he could get away with it. And God damn it, if any women reading this has finally told her story, be strong. You maybe a link in a long chain, and all together you are powerful.)

Secondly, you are probably thinking: But why did it take so long? Why didn’t these women come forward sooner? Are they lying?

First of all: If you think a group of women who speak up about their abuse, in any context, and you automatically assume they are lying, please and swiftly, shut up. And continue that silence, until either your death or you will not say or think that again.

A woman has the ability to lie. She has the ability to lie about abuse.

Most women don’t need to lie about her rape, her molestation, her sexual assault, her cat call, her refusal of birth control, her refusal of her abortion, her abusive marriage or childhood, and how a person she told didn’t believe her.

And if you don’t think this is a man’s issue as well. Sit the fuck down with the people who thought Bill Cosby was innocent, and whom thought Amber Herd was lying with photo and video evidence of  her husband beating her.

Some people do not believe men can be raped. In any context, regardless if it is a woman or a man. (Yes, yes they can.) 1 out of 10 men are victims of rape, 46 percent of male victims were reported of a female perpetrator. This is a man’s issue, and men need to agree.

Now, about questioning men: why are we so ready to believe men?

Even in small things, like when a teenager says “boys like to fuck girls.” For decades, we ignored stories, and allowed men to remain in their jobs and positions, despite what happened.

In religion we allowed priests in churches, despite stories of molestation.

Until the year 1993, in America, 24 years ago, martial rape was not a crime in all 50 states. Despite women telling stories about their rapists, the man they were married too.

Despite Nicole Brown telling confidantes, and the police, that was she was being stalked, physically abused (one account was on live television after her murder), emotionally abused, she and her friend Ron Goldman did not get justice for their murder. And Nicole did not get justice from her abuser.

More then 50 women say that Bill Cosby drugged them and then violated them sexually for over 70 years. And then paid some of them to keep quiet. I heard a logical, rational person, a woman, say that they were lying for money.

There was an entire reality show surrounded by escaping girls from polygamous sects because the women who escaped knew they were being abused and their religion allowed it. Warren Jeffs was arranged marriages of adult men with underage girls. Two of his children, a boy and a girl, have accused him of sexual assault. One of his victims committed suicide after accusing him sexual assault as a child. And the list went on for him.

Casey Affleck got to keep the Oscar, Chris Brown still got to make albums, James Franco openly attempted he flirted with a 17 year old girl over Instagram, asked to meet her, and blamed it all on bad judgement.

And yes, he didn’t “go through with it,” and yes he stopped texting her.

But then Seth Rogen made a joke on SNL that he posed as a girl on Instagram, and he seemed unfazed. He got to say, “I hope parents keep their teens away from me!”

Some may still like James Franco, sure. But why? He did something gross, in terrible judgement, joked about it and was allowed to keep acting.

Yeah.

Why don’t we question men more? Why don’t we believe women more? Why can’t we have a society where we question men? Why don’t we respect boy’s intelligence, asking them why boys like to fuck girls? Why don’t men call out other men for being sexist, racist, or misogynistic?

And I’m sure, you’re wondering: what about the men who are victims?

Question them too.

Ask them the name of their abusers.

Ask them how long its been happening.

Ask them how you can help.

Sincerely, The Not Social Kid.

 

 

Let’s talk about drugs.

As of right now, women face the fear of getting affordable healthcare. It is nothing women did expect want to live. And we are afraid.

I talked to a doctor yesterday and he and I made a decision for to begin ADHD medication. I went to an office that I have with my insurance. (As a dependent from my mother’s policy that she received from her work.) I waited for a little while, and went back, spoke to a nurse practitioner who was working there, then spoke to a doctor and we were civil speaking honestly. I was able to leave and then later buy my medications for a very low price due to the insurance. I was able to also get birth control for no fee. Yes, no fee.

What I described millions of women need the opportunity to receive. On my own I could not afford any of it. It would be 190 dollars just for birth control and my regular medication. I work minimum wage and go to school. You do the math on that one.

I can not say I am an expert on medical care, and I will the be the first to tell you. What I know a lot about is myself, and mental health. Depression worsens from life experiences, anxiety comes from that depression, and ADHD is a mess into it. I may have already mentioned before that I was a nervous kid, I didn’t know what I felt was different. I didn’t know my daydreaming was abnormal. (It is called maladaptive daydreaming, a symptom of two or more mental illnesses.) And no one teaches you about mental health when you’re in public school.

I learned about sexual education in college. Think about that. 12 years in school, and I learned the biological and sexual education in college. Why is this okay? Of course we learned about periods in middle school, but no one discussed sex. We were segregated by gender, and watched silly videos. High school was different when I learned about the terms of my mental health, and had a panic attack for hours. My mom drove me to the doctor and they chose I did need to be on medication, and I chose to go to therapy.

Now, there might be some of you who read this and think I’m poisoning my body and brain with toxic medications and am doing more harm then good. Let me be clear: Facts outweigh what you feel. If you think I should not be taking pills, please be quiet and read this post all the way through.

I was having physical pain from my anxiety, my chest was hurting, I was shaking, I was unable to calm down or let myself think of how to calm down. Medication stopped that, and made me feel better, safer, and more able to do things. Without medication, I would not be able to get up in the morning, go outside, go to school and work a customer service job.

Smiling didn’t help.

Exercise didn’t help.

Pushing it down didn’t help.

Ignoring my depressed thoughts didn’t help.

Medications can be live savers, medications helped me. I had been experiencing mental illnesses for years, and it dramatically helped my mental state. And I will say:

Medication is not for everyone.

People may not need medication, especially people at very young ages, but may get pills anyway. Some kids may be excitable or aren’t disciplined properly, and other kids may have serious anger problems or genuine depression.  Mental health is vastly more complex then simply determining someone into a category by  a checklist.

These is especially the case to women: women are more likely to have depression, anxiety, heart attacks, alcohol abuse, stress, strokes, multiple sclerosis, lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome, STDs, and other autoimmune diseases. And our healthcare is not given so easily, especially in reproductive health.

Maybe we should be more angry, more sad, and maybe a little more aware.

How to treat your local restaurant employee!

Hello! Welcome to a PSA you didn’t ask for but you clicked on anyway!

Customer service is an awful job. We can all agree on that. But Customer service is an essential part of society: giving people jobs to later appreciate their current career, or look on fondly. We all rely more on customer service then we think, especially in America. I myself work at a local fast food eater, and while I love my job and most of the customers, it is a very bad job sometimes. Many other restaurant employees I’ve talked to feel the same I do, job can be good or fine, but sometimes the people are the worst. And it is agreed most people are very pleasant, others however we want to punch in the face, but that’s illegal and we’d lose our jobs that we need.

So, for the sake of a little education: I’d like to share some tips with you on how to treat your fast food employees, or local restaurant servers in the hopes we can make these experiences a little better.

1. If you are living in America, or visiting America and you go to a restaurant that sits you down and a person services you: You are required to tip. The reason you have to tip your waiters or waitresses is  because they are paid enough to not have tips. This isn’t any customers fault, restaurants should pay their employees a decent wage so we don’t have to rely on a local consumer, but until that day: tip, tip, tip. The most common amount is to tip 20 percent, and if you get especially nice service it’s perfectly okay to tip a little more. (There is a great explanation from hilarious Adam Conover who can explain these better then I can. Link here:  https://youtu.be/q_vivC7c_1k)
2. Treat your dining experience like a relationship. What I mean is your server is a person too, we really appreciate it when customers are polite, direct, and kind. Similar to good communication in a relationship! If you want us to be a little more inclined to remember your table, order, whatever, treat us well! We will go out of our way for you.
3. Call your server or cashier by their name. Servers tell you their name when they get your drinks so you’ll remember, cashiers wear name tags so you’ll see our name. This especially happens to women, though men have too, to be called pet names. It’s not threatening or (typically) demeaning, but we highly prefer our names because we are professionals in uniform. You would not call your lawyer ‘Honey’ or your plumber ‘Sweetie’, call us by our names.
4. DO NOT GO TO A RESTAURANT DRUNK OR OTHERWISE IMPAIRED. You are already committing a crime by driving drunk or impaired, do not do it. You do not drink better high, you just think you do. It is unbelievably infuriating trying to get an order from a drunk person, especially if they continue to drink. We always know when you’re high, we have to serve you. (And please, if you have to vomit, go to the toilet and vomit in the toilet where we don’t have to clean it up as much. This goes the same for any other bodily functions you may have.)
5. Kids are generally okay customers, but parents do need to teach their children who to behave in public. Kids being kids is wanting to order for themselves, spilling their drinks sometimes, making weird jokes. Don’t let kids run around, scream, or annoy other patrons. And please don’t have a fight with your kids. Holy shit, that is so awkward for us and we can not do anything.
6. DO NOT YELL OR CURSE AT CUSTOMER SERVICE PEOPLE. We are people, we have feelings, our entire job is to smile and bare the entirety of being nice for hours on end on our feet. You may not know it but servers can have anxiety, depression, PTSD and other mental disorders we have to deal with while being nice to others. Or we could be dealing with issues of our own in our lives and we have to work and can’t skip to deal with those issues. Treating us like crap is already makes you an asshole, but going even further and yelling at us or swearing at us brings that assholeness to an entire another level. Always, always, always, remember: You don’t know what we’re going through or what we are feeling. The bare minimum you can do is treat us nicely.
7. Human error happens. There are real people in the kitchen, on the floor, severing you,  severing others doing a job. We’ll forget things sometimes, we’ll spill drinks, we’ll leave alone a long time or keep coming a little more then appropriate, and maybe be slower in service. Be understanding, be patient, be nice.

Here is just some basics, but never be afraid to talk to cashiers and other servers so they can tell you their own experiences. Make restaurants better places.

Sincerely, The Not Social Kid.

Parenting….

This is a pretty touchy subject for most people.

Most people can say they had a good childhood with tough but loving parents, or their childhood was terrible because of their tough parents. Or even worse childhood was worse due to parents not caring about their children at all.

Whatever your child hood was like you can break it down into the psychological categories of  Authoritative, Authoritarian, Passive, etc. While I believe that its highly true, its also worth noting: childhood and parenting are different.

A kid could have seen their childhood much more differently, then the adult who raised said child. (This is deeply exampled in the daily talk show Dr. Phil, educated Texan smart man reminding people every day their lives could be worse, or they are on the show and are the worst.) And I don’t think this is talked about enough.

I myself have had a childhood not particularly noteworthy, with no epic story of my existence. I was a kid in a town, went to public school, had a couple friends, did normal kid things.  What I can say is I dealt with some troubling things going on inside the house. My parents had bad fights, which got very loud and very scary, but that was really the extension of that.

My parents don’t fight hardly ever now, and are very happy. There was a time though, I really wondered if they were getting a divorce. They themselves might have thought about this, but they made it through and are still together.

I do wonder if the fights were part of my anxiousness, as I tend to get very scared when I hear disagreements in public. (Or a particularly annoying man in one of my classes who yelled at my teacher to the point of making me curl into a ball covering my ears.)

Now, of course of course, there could be a plethora of other reasons for my anxiety; Such as genetics, or I developed it over time during my life, or lots of other reasons. I can’t say for sure, but that’s not the point.

What I saw in my childhood, maybe vastly different from what my parents saw. My dad and I do not tend to agree on a lot of things, and if we’re being honest: I’m fairly sure we could not live together for a very long time. It’s not to say we don’t love each other, or even like one another, but its hard to be in the same house with a similar personality.

He tends to think I’ve been spoiled, or don’t want to move out. I agree in some aspects of my youth, I had been spoiled a little more then I really needed. Though I disagree that I don’t want to move out because that is completely untrue. (But as I am poor with an unfinished education, its better I stay home and try to work to get said money to move out.)

I tend to think he’s boring as a bag of bricks, and is very frustrating. I know deep down he is indeed not boring as I can tell from his stories, music taste, and past pictures. (Kinky hair and tie indeed worthy of the 80s.) And frustrating only sometimes, especially when he’s feeling very OCD.

Hell, he probably thinks I’m frustrating to live with! And that is fair: I don’t cook often, I’m a little lazy, I take unnecessarily long showers. But as far as dysfunctional goes, we’re perfectly average, which helps some getting through life.

Parenting isn’t easy. No one has ever said that and if they had, they don’t raise children.  Hence, why I intend to keep my uterus mint condition and don’t want to have children. I personally have come to the conclusion I will make a fantastic aunt one day, loading my beloved niece and/or nephew with chocolate, read to them my collection of Tolkien novels, and let them watch A Clock Work Orange with me to learn what a master in directing looks like. (Okay that last one was a joke but you get the idea.)

Parenting sounds scary: having to produce a child, having to care for them and make sure they are healthy, happy, and free of the dangers of the world. (If you read that and think to yourself: “Wow, this person really dismisses parenting. Congrats! My point has been made.) The world is scary, and having to navigate a child through it is terrifying!

Kids learn, kids know things, kids are honest. Kids know the world sucks long before we can tell them it does. I think we don’t take kids at face value sometimes, we dismiss their experiences, dismiss their parents because that’s how they are.

Kids are not the propriety of their parents, they don’t belong to them, they are not possession you can dress up and make into little yous. Kids are intelligent, kind, and every single one has blown their parents mind by saying something so insightful and interesting that you debate if that child is really yours. Kids need to be taken more seriously, given a chance to tell and speak about what they felt. Even if they were wrong about something, they still felt like something was wrong and that is important. 

Regardless wither or not you agree, take into consideration the next time you talk to a kid and ask them some questions. You’d be surprised what a kid will tell you.

Love, The Not Social Kid.

Is the world really scary or are people to blame?

I mean, I think we all can agree as of now: the world is fucking terrifying.

Mass shootings, two hurricanes, Nazis (and other homegrown terrorist), a dim witted buffoon with a bush of dried tumble-weeds on his head in the White House. (Along with his children of the Purge who wear the masks as their faces.)  And plenty of other shit that is stress triggering even if you aren’t personally affected by it.

I stopped getting news updates on my phone after the past election because I was so mentally drained I could not will myself to do so anymore. But I continue to watch Samantha Bee, Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, and Noah Trevor who fantastically took the place of our ever topical Jon Stewart.

I’m not entirely sure if watching topical news helps, though humor reminds me people can still be funny and we can still make light of the world despite it being terrible. We will ourselves to believe things are not terrible, its very hard to believe it. I have trouble believing everything is going to be okay.

Even with faith, I am still very unsure about the future. People say everyone is depressed and anxious at my age, and yet, that’s okay? Why should my generation have to fear nuclear war, Nazis, sexism, and death? Why should we have to dream about a beautiful apartment with windows in order to have one in our life time? Why does everyone older then us think we created awards for everything and a bunch of words and phrases like, “Glass ceiling”, “transgender”, “safe space”,  and “participation award” when the older generation is what invented it in the first place?

(Glass ceiling was coined in this century but sexism has been forever. Trans peoples have also existed since early civilizations, “safe spaces” can go both ways like how racists or indifferent to racism don’t want other kinds of people (i.e. people of color or anyone with a different religion) in america, and let’s not forget participation awards! When parents realized their  kids weren’t given awards and demanded their kids receive something. NO CHILD EVER ASKED FOR AWARDS, IT WAS THEIR PARENTS WHO INVENTED IT PLEASE STOP THIS SHIT.)

And its not to say the older generations have completely ruined America, and the younger members haven’t also contributed. By which I mean rich criminals getting away with crimes, indifferent racists who are Nazis, toxic Alpha males who don’t respect women (in 2017 mind you) and continue the abuse to their fellow man, women who voted for Trump all because they didn’t like the other candidates husband, or they didn’t like her and still voted for someone who openly admitted a play-by-play on how to sexually assault women. (Among other things.) Trolls on both sides who threaten violence, death, and other people’s violence and death on them just for having different opinions. (Or have a vagina either way.)

The people who did not help ruin America are people who wanted to be called their preferred pronoun, wanted to protest the injustice in America, and  people who wanted avocado toast or a phone instead of a house or decent health insurance. (Yeah, because food and a method of communication is somehow more important then a house to live or something that will keep people alive.)

Everyday we hear people argue about who did what, and despite their being facts, people think others are responsible. I hear about people on the news argue with other people and want to push their thoughts instead of listening.

I have heard of know and prompt Neo-Nazis become friends with black people, and then leave the Reich because their minds where changed. I’ve heard of Christians who really did read the bible and meet gay people and other religions and realize they have only hated because the preachers weren’t really being Christ-like. Even completely misogynistic men who wouldn’t listen to anyone with a vagina, could learn his entire environment of hating women, was wrong and he had been wrong.

So is it really a matter of people just being shit and not wanting to learn, or is it the world is terrible and people are a product of it?

Well, maybe people are really what makes the world worse, even unknowingly. I don’t think people are inherently pieces of shit, people learn their behaviors but can change over time. I believe it, and know people can be altered, and hope everyone could see someone’s else perspective and learn from it. And maybe that’s too optimistic to really think people can question the world and learn about others.

And that is horribly cynical!

But, if time and time again we see people exactly look and around think on their own. Maybe, history can change, and people can change and we can be rid of Nazis and racists and bigots, and sexist assholes.

I believe it, and I hope anyone who reads this believes it too.

Love, the Not Social Kid.

 

Asking for help

Everyday we have asked for help, and we know its okay to ask for help. Sometimes its  for small things, other times for bigger things.

I’ve noticed in myself, at my job, at school, in life. I don’t tend to ask for help. I think I’ve always known that you can’t really rely on others, so you have to rely on yourself. And I can attempt and mostly succeed in whatever it is I’m doing.

I want to think maybe if I try hard enough I can do everything on my own, until stress kicks in and I have to retreat. Despite my own vanity, I do think asking for assistance could spare me some heartache, and every now and again I ask a trusted individual.

I have noticed every now and again, some people want you to figure things out on your own. It is either completely obvious or they subtly point me in the right direction. With dealing with the not subtle approach I do wonder if maybe I’m asking the wrong person, or I’m being too sensitive.

Person: You’ve got to pick up (item I have never heard of) to (trusted family friend who will help me with a situation.)

Me: Okay, so how much does it cost?

Person: I don’t know, you should probably just take (lump sum of money) with you. You can ask them when you get there. (Doesn’t give me anymore information on the product.)

Me: Well okay….. (I decide not to continue as I had just gotten off work and was really tired.)

This of course is a small example, and frankly not too serious as we figured out the situation. But my overall point is, when does asking for help and figuring it out on your own meet?

I’m attempting adulthood: trying my best to handle my depression and anxiety, school, and my job while maintaining that I can do things outside of all of that. They don’t teach, “How to fucking Adult.” in school. You’re just expected to learn it. As though the process of learning who you are, what your life will be, and the basic wellness of your life will somehow be easy and without exhaustion and waking in the middle of the night staring at the ceiling wondering if life is really worth living.

And of course I don’t think any adult who has nurtured me through life this far believes I would ruin my life with drugs and/or prison. I know that is not true.

Somehow the line between what I should know, or want, is not easily seen with what I need to ask for help with.

Taxes: Well the internet has an abundance of helpful web sites where you don’t even have to do it yourself.

Work: Simple. Show up, do what you’re told and do a little extra, try to be nice to everyone.

Basic cleaning: Anyone can do it.

School: Turn everything in and cram your studying hours when downing some food you haven’t eaten all day.

What my future job will be: You’ve got to figure out what you want to do.

But…what if I place huge self-doubt in my abilities and really don’t know if the career I’ve always wanted is the choice for me?

Welcome to the real world kid.

…….Okay, I’m probably being extra but the theme is still there.

The question I’ve wanted to know: when does asking for help stop? What does doing it yourself really mean?

I’ll be on the hunt to find the answers to both.

Love, the Not Social Kid.

 

To start….hello.

I suppose blogs are an easy way to let out all of your pent up anger and possibly learn a little more about yourself….so here we are.

Firstly: I’m a writer. Or trying to be. I generally love it, and I really can not find myself in a life without it.

Secondly: I am depressing as fuck. Like, for real, I have a minor depression and generalized anxiety. All of it is terrible, as one would expect.

Thirdly: I try to have a bit of “Save the world” in me. Do you remember the beloved excitement of child believing you were going to save the planet like a superhero? Then once you reached adulthood life smacked you in the back of the head and made you remember the world is not nearly as black and white as that? Well, the feeling of maybe I’m going to help future generations feel less like shit, is still in me.

Fourthly: I am a feminist……….let that sink in, got it? Good. When I say that I am not a spinster professional man-hater who finds all men trash and can’t laugh at awful jokes due to my womanly hysteria. If anything, I find all genders equally annoying. I’m not a people person is what I’m saying.

But god damn, maybe the world would be a better place if maybe women were seen as people! If we loved, valued and treasured women in the same ways we always have for men.

And that’s not to say men don’t need women having their back on issues like: Men deserve to cry, men should been seen as parents and not babysitters, men can be housekeepers, men should be able to adopt as single parents or (and this goes without saying) parents that two gay dudes. Men shouldn’t be shot at because they are black, men shouldn’t be rejected in America simply because they are not white.

(Again goes without saying.)

If any of this bothers you, please don’t read my blog. I honestly would rather not have the stress of being harassed because I don’t think the way you think or I am a woman and therefore shouldn’t have an opinion on the internet.

Anyway, it’s nice to be here. I hope I can speak to someone who might be going through the same things as me.

Love, but kinda not let’s be friends, The Not Social Kid.